When are we going to start telling our people the truth? When are going to stop excusing slackness? The majority of our children have no father's name on their birth certificate. Why is this? Many Jamaican women are making very bad choices with respect to whom they chose to copulate with. We can't call it any more than that because often time there was no love, no relationship, sometimes not even knowing what his name was. Was she a victim or a volunteer? Many Jamaican men are equally governed by their gonads. Many Jamaican men admit that they are "dogs", Do the women who demonstrate the reciprocal traits admit that they are "bitches"? In either case, the child that results is the real victim of this misadventure. Years ago when our Prime Minister tried to raise the issue of values and attitudes it got very little traction. We continue to pay the price. Many females are choosing to breed for irresponsible sperm donors. Many of our males are not evolving above the classification of stud service and sperm donor that was imposed on them during slavery.

Meanwhile in America

Last week the New York Times reported that President Bush had begun a new the political debate in the USA. He had "discovered" that after 30 years of a welfare system, the main achievement was "an enemy of individual effort and responsibility, with dependence passed from one generation to the next." This situation motivated Mr. Bush to present his proposals to strengthen marriages and families. Critics have suggested that this is an inappropriate realm for the government, as a way to help children. We can all agree that single mothers do heroic work, beginning with mine. Some say that they have the toughest job in our country. Bush has concluded that, "In many cases, their lives and their children's lives would be better if their fathers had lived up to their responsibilities." This is even more visible today as we witness the continued devolution fuelled by crime and violence in Jamaica. Do you understand the connection?

The US administration is confronting an out-of-wedlock birth rate that has stabilized but remains a stubborn 33% of all births. We wish that we were at this rate. The Americans are hoping to turn the tide by financing experimental programs in the states, like public education campaigns on the benefits of marriage and premarital counselling. Mr. Bush also made a case for his proposed U$135 million for abstinence education.. "Abstinence is the surest way and the only completely effective way to prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases," he said. "When our children face a choice between self- restraint and self-destruction, government should not be neutral." Does this apply to us?

The Facts of Life

The first stage of adult behaviour is called WORK. This is how you pay rent for occupying space on earth. The second stage of Adulthood is called INTIMACY
The fact that you can support yourself now enables you to bring something to the table to share with someone else. In the world of relationships ½ plus ½ is not ONE, but still 2 HALF PEOPLE. Unresolved personal issues mainly add baggage to the relationship.

The third stage of Adulthood is PARENTING. You are not ready to be a PARENT until you can PAY RENT! A child NEEDS 2 Parents who can support themselves and each other, materially as well as emotionally. The real crisis in Jamaican life is the disappearance of the family. Parenting requires more than the combination of egg and sperm.

The Long Term Solution to Crime and Violence - The 2 Parent Family

• FACT - Fatherless boys commit more crimes
  
• FACT - A man in the home is more important than any other single factor in the socialization of boys

The implication of this situation is that we have to begin to make better life choices. The rules for mate selection are similar to the rules of domino. Rule Number 1: Draw good cards.

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother". (Theodore Hesburgh, Readers Digest, January 1963)