Anger: Fuel it or Cool it
Leahcim Semaj, Ph.D. - Change Agent

Our murder statistics tell the sad tale or the kind of people we have become. It appears that it now requires less and less provocation the transform what could be described as a dispute to a murder scene. It does not have to be this was. We should and can make choices as to the kind of people we wish to be. The only problem is that no one can not decide for you. Each person has to make that choice. Along the way, the universal law of entropy gives us some reason for concern because "Things tend to go from organized to disorganized unless energy is exerted". So many of us are quick to anger and then commit act for which we spend a life time regretting. The music has become angrier. Some talk shows pride themselves on their ability to stimulate this destructive emotion.

What is Anger?
The American Psychological Association publishes a very useful brochure on the subject. Anger is an emotional state that ranges in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person or event , or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings

Expressing Anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

Three Options
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.

Expressing your angry feelings: This is the healthiest way to express anger, in an assertive-not aggressive-manner is. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger can also be suppressed: It can then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behaviour. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward-on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

You can also calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behaviour, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
When none of these three techniques work, that's when someone-or something-is going to get hurt. And then the regrets begin to kick in.
Next week we will explore a variety of anger management techniques that could save your life.