• Our specie has probably gone as far as we can based on Cognitive Intelligence alone
  
• The rest of the journey will require greater development of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

• the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, trust, creativity and influence Survival
  
• Nature developed our emotions over millions of years of evolution
  
• Our emotions have the potential to serve us today as a delicate and sophisticated internal guidance system
  Alert us when natural human need is not being met

For example

• When we feel lonely,
   - Our need for connection with other people is unmet
  
• When we feel afraid,
   - Our need for safety is unmet
  
• When we feel rejected,
   - It is our need for acceptance which is unmet
  
• Our emotions
   - valuable source of information
   - help us make decisions
  Studies show
  
• When a person's emotional connections are severed in the brain, he can not make even simple decisions
  
• Why?
   - Because he doesn't know how he will feel about his choices

Boundary Setting

• When we feel uncomfortable with a person's behaviour, our emotions alert us
  If we learn to trust our emotions
  And feel confident expressing ourselves We can let the person know we feel uncomfortable as soon as we are aware of our feeling
  Result
  
• This will help us set our boundaries
  
• Necessary to protect our physical and mental health
  Communication
  
• Our emotions help us communicate with others
  
• For example,
  - Our facial expressions can convey a wide range of emotions
  If we look sad or hurt
  
• We are signalling to others that we need their help
  If we are verbally skilled
  
• We will be able to express more of our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of filling them
  If we are effective at listening
  
• To the emotional troubles of others,
  
• We are in a better position to reach others
  
• We are in a better position to bridge the gaps
  Unity
  
• Our emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting all members of the human species
  
• Clearly, our various religious, cultural and political beliefs have not united us
  Far too often
  
• They have tragically and even fatally divided us
  
• Emotions, on the other hand, are universal
  Charles Darwin
  
• Wrote about this years ago in one of his lesser-known books
  - "The Expression of Emotion In Man and Animal"

The Emotions of

• Empathy, Compassion, Co-operation, and Forgiveness
  
• All have the potential to unite us as a species
  
• Emotions unite us: Beliefs divide us

The Four Corner stones of Emotional Intelligence

• Emotional Literacy - First Cornerstone
  
• Emotional Fitness - Second Cornerstone
  
• Emotional Depth - Third Cornerstone
  
• Emotional Alchemy - Fourth Cornerstone

1. Emotional Literacy

• Centers on learning the alphabet, grammar, and vocabulary of EQ
  
• Recognising, respecting and valuing the inherent wisdom of feelings

2. Emotional Fitness

• Builds authenticity, believability, resilience
  
• Expands circle of trust
  - capacity for listening
  - managing conflict
  - making the most of constructive discontent

3. Emotional Depth

• Explore ways to align your life and work with your unique potential and purpose
  
• Increase your influence without authority
  - more integrety, commitment and accountability

4. Emotional Alchemy

• Extend your creative instinct and capacity
  - to flow with problems and pressures
  - to compete for the future
  
• Build your capabilities to sense and access the widest range of hidden solutions and emerging opportunities

When You Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

• You shift the energy level
  
• It changes your experience of work, life and relationships
  

Emotions Are Very Important - From IQ to EQ

• Our specie has probably gone as far as we can based on Cognitive Intelligence alone
  
• The rest of the journey will require greater development of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

• the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, trust, creativity and influence Survival
  
• Nature developed our emotions over millions of years of evolution
  
• Our emotions have the potential to serve us today as a delicate and sophisticated internal guidance system
  Alert us when natural human need is not being met

For example

• When we feel lonely,
  - Our need for connection with other people is unmet
  
• When we feel afraid,
  - Our need for safety is unmet
  
• When we feel rejected,
  - It is our need for acceptance which is unmet
  
• Our emotions
  - valuable source of information
  - help us make decisions
  Studies show
  
• When a person's emotional connections are severed in the brain, he can not make even simple decisions
  
• Why?
  - Because he doesn't know how he will feel about his choices

Boundary Setting

• When we feel uncomfortable with a person's behaviour, our emotions alert us
  If we learn to trust our emotions
  And feel confident expressing ourselves We can let the person know we feel uncomfortable as soon as we are aware of our feeling
  Result
  
• This will help us set our boundaries
  
• Necessary to protect our physical and mental health
  Communication
  
• Our emotions help us communicate with others
  
• For example,
  - Our facial expressions can convey a wide range of emotions
  If we look sad or hurt
  
• We are signalling to others that we need their help
  If we are verbally skilled
  
• We will be able to express more of our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of filling them
  If we are effective at listening
  
• To the emotional troubles of others,
  
• We are in a better position to reach others
  
• We are in a better position to bridge the gaps
  Unity
  
• Our emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting all members of the human species
  
• Clearly, our various religious, cultural and political beliefs have not united us
  Far too often
  
• They have tragically and even fatally divided us
  
• Emotions, on the other hand, are universal
  Charles Darwin
  
• Wrote about this years ago in one of his lesser-known books
  - "The Expression of Emotion In Man and Animal"

The Emotions of

• Empathy, Compassion, Co-operation, and Forgiveness
  
• All have the potential to unite us as a species
  
• Emotions unite us: Beliefs divide us

The Four Corner stones of Emotional Intelligence

• Emotional Literacy - First Cornerstone
  
• Emotional Fitness - Second Cornerstone
  
• Emotional Depth - Third Cornerstone
  
• Emotional Alchemy - Fourth Cornerstone

1. Emotional Literacy

• Centers on learning the alphabet, grammar, and vocabulary of EQ
  
• Recognising, respecting and valuing the inherent wisdom of feelings

2. Emotional Fitness

• Builds authenticity, believability, resilience
  
• Expands circle of trust
  - capacity for listening
  - managing conflict
  - making the most of constructive discontent

3. Emotional Depth

• Explore ways to align your life and work with your unique potential and purpose
  
• Increase your influence without authority
  - more integrety, commitment and accountability

4. Emotional Alchemy

• Extend your creative instinct and capacity
  - to flow with problems and pressures
  - to compete for the future
  
• Build your capabilities to sense and access the widest range of hidden solutions and emerging opportunities

When You Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

• You shift the energy level
  
• It changes your experience of work, life and relationships
  

What is your EQ?
UNLOCK YOUR ULTIMATE POTENTIAL

Another JobBank Presentation

EQ EXERCISES

Use three word sentences

Beginning with "I feel"
Start labelling feelings,
Stop labelling people & situations
Analyse your own feelings - Rather than the action or motives of other people

Ask others how they feel

• On scale of 0-10
  Make time to reflect on your feelings
  
• Identify your fears and desires
  
• Identify your UEN's (Unmet Emotional Needs)

Take responsibility for your emotions & happiness

• Stop believing others cause your feelings;
  
• Don't expect others to "make" you happy
  
• Express your feelings
  Find out who cares - Spend time with them
  
• Develop the courage to follow your own feelings
  On Respect:
  1. Mutual respect is the key to healthy relationships
  2. Show respect by respecting another's feelings
  3. Show respect by asking someone
  
• "How would you feel if..."
  
• Before making a decision which affects them
  
• (HWYF)
  On Arguments:
  Stop arguments by
  
• (a) asking how the other feels & telling how you feel
  
• using 3 word sentences;
  
• (b) focussing on feelings not facts
  On Decision Making:
  
• Ask: how will I feel if I do...if I don't
  On Helping Others:
  
• Help them identify their primary feelings
  
• Learn to validate
  
• empathize w/o getting "infected"
  
• i.e. feeling responsible for cause of problem or solution & getting drained
  Ask:
  
• How do you feel?
  
• What would help you feel better(that is in your control)?
  Avoid saying
  
• You need to
  
• You have to
  
• You better
  
• Why didn't you
• You should
  
• You shouldn't
  
• You should have
  
• You shouldn't have

Helpful Reminders:

• Your "negative" feelings are expressions of your unmet emotional needs (UEN's)
  
• Each negative feeling has a positive value
  Awareness of your feelings
  
• The key to self-knowledge
  
• Self-knowledge is the key to self-improvement
  
• Judging and analyzing others is self-avoidance

Anger is a secondary emotion

• Identify the primary ones
  
• Accepting Responsibility Releases Resentment (AR3)

The thin line is between need and hate

• Not between love and hate
  Feelings are not debatable
  
• You can't solve an emotional problem with logic
  Invalidation
  
• Kills confidence Creativity Self-esteem
  
• Creates chaos Confusion Conflict

Emotions put us in motion

• All actions are motivated by feelings
  
• We can always choose how we respond to an emotion
  We are always in control
  
• Feeling in control is empowering
  
• Taking responsibility for our happiness is empowering
  On Managing Your Negative Feelings
  
• Ask:
  
• why does it bother me?
  
• What are my beliefs?
  
• Are some of my beliefs dysfunctional to me?
  
• What are my needs?
  
• How can I meet them by myself?
  Remember AR3
  
• Accepting responsibility releases resentment (AR3)
  
• Reframe the situation as a growth opportunity;
  
• Change addictive demands to preferences
  On Relationships:
  
• Happiness is not something you get out of a relationship
  
• But something you bring into one
  Express your feelings,
  
• (Must know them)
  
• See who cares
  
• Allocate your time accordingly
  Remember seek volunteers,
  
• Not hostages
  Base Relationship
  On mutual respect of feelings
  Avoid toxic people
  
• Invalidating
  
• Defensive
  
• Disrespecting
  
• Insecure
  
• Negative

GET IN TUNE WITH YOUR FEELINGS
They will lead you through